Crazy cat lady
Okay, I've been trying to keep this in, but I can't any longer. This is going to sound borderline psychotic, but you probably already knew that if you were my friend.
I'M GONNA DIE SINGLE AND ALONE.
I'm going to be one of those old ladies who are bitter and have a million cats, and I'm going to spend all my time knitting because there's nothing else but that, and I'll have no one to knit for so my entire apartment will be decked out in useless knitwear like TEA COSIES, and all my cats will have CLOTHES ):
I know alot of you think this whole "Hi, my name is Bernadette and I'm asexual" thing is a joke, but it's not, I really really will never find anyone I'm attracted to in this life time and this feeling of dread just fills me every passing year. I mean hey, who care's that you don't seem like you'll ever get married when you're a teen, but I'm already 20 for crying out loud.
It's all dandy when you DON'T want to get married, but I do! I wanna play house and be domestic and all that sort of stuff.
I was sitting at Macs the other day, trying to study with Mira, and I told her I wanted someone to marry me so I can quit school and be a housewife and it basically went down like this:
Me: WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO MARRYY MEEEEEE? ;_;
Mira: I think the problem here is you finding some YOU want to marry.
Which is the thing I don't get. I think I have really average expectations, hence there should be no problem.
I found Changmin's 'I used to have really bad dandruff and play with it' story attractive for crying out loud(yeah, you know those crazy girls behind him who squealed when he told that story? If I were there, I would have been one of them).
So what's the issue here? Why do I NOT FIND ANYBODY ATTRACTIVE? Why has there not been a single person that I've met, which the thought of dating does not gross me out?(No offence to my male friends, you know I love you all, just not THAT way xoxoxoxoxox)
You have no idea how many friends have told me that if I ever told them about a guy I genuinely found attractive they would be so ridiculously happy, but sorry to disappoint, I THINK MY HORMONES ARE BROKEN ):
Unless you want to talk about what my friends refer to as "Fake/Not Real" people, aka Jonghun, DBSK.
[Me: *holds ipod* Wanna see my boyfriend?
Neeta: Don't listen to her, he's NOT REAL."(if it was Dora, she would just throw my ipod on the floor, which is what she tried to do yesterday, I wish I was joking)
Speaking of which, I really in all honesty wish I never knew Shim Changmin existed, or that at least I disliked him or something, because if anything, that boy makes me feel a million times worse about this situation.
Let me show you something that entirely encapsulates me feelings on the matter:
I realise what I said that contradicts what I said earlier about expections but let me clarify, I generally have no expectations. except for the fact that I will probably never be attracted to anyone other than Shim Changmin.
See the problem here? I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.
And I think it's really sweet that my friends feed the deulsion that I may someday become 100000x better looking, 10000x smarter and marry Changmin(Rita Hayworth bleached her skin, electrocuted her hairline and married a Prince![who then turned completely psycho and her love life was extremely tragic but...moving on]) but I really can't tell you if you telling me that you feel "really sad that you'll never meet him cause you guys are practically soulmates" makes me feel better or a million times worse.
I'M GONNA DIE SINGLE AND ALONE.
I'm going to be one of those old ladies who are bitter and have a million cats, and I'm going to spend all my time knitting because there's nothing else but that, and I'll have no one to knit for so my entire apartment will be decked out in useless knitwear like TEA COSIES, and all my cats will have CLOTHES ):
I know alot of you think this whole "Hi, my name is Bernadette and I'm asexual" thing is a joke, but it's not, I really really will never find anyone I'm attracted to in this life time and this feeling of dread just fills me every passing year. I mean hey, who care's that you don't seem like you'll ever get married when you're a teen, but I'm already 20 for crying out loud.
It's all dandy when you DON'T want to get married, but I do! I wanna play house and be domestic and all that sort of stuff.
I was sitting at Macs the other day, trying to study with Mira, and I told her I wanted someone to marry me so I can quit school and be a housewife and it basically went down like this:
Me: WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO MARRYY MEEEEEE? ;_;
Mira: I think the problem here is you finding some YOU want to marry.
Which is the thing I don't get. I think I have really average expectations, hence there should be no problem.
I found Changmin's 'I used to have really bad dandruff and play with it' story attractive for crying out loud(yeah, you know those crazy girls behind him who squealed when he told that story? If I were there, I would have been one of them).
So what's the issue here? Why do I NOT FIND ANYBODY ATTRACTIVE? Why has there not been a single person that I've met, which the thought of dating does not gross me out?(No offence to my male friends, you know I love you all, just not THAT way xoxoxoxoxox)
You have no idea how many friends have told me that if I ever told them about a guy I genuinely found attractive they would be so ridiculously happy, but sorry to disappoint, I THINK MY HORMONES ARE BROKEN ):
Unless you want to talk about what my friends refer to as "Fake/Not Real" people, aka Jonghun, DBSK.
[Me: *holds ipod* Wanna see my boyfriend?
Neeta: Don't listen to her, he's NOT REAL."(if it was Dora, she would just throw my ipod on the floor, which is what she tried to do yesterday, I wish I was joking)
Speaking of which, I really in all honesty wish I never knew Shim Changmin existed, or that at least I disliked him or something, because if anything, that boy makes me feel a million times worse about this situation.
Let me show you something that entirely encapsulates me feelings on the matter:
I realise what I said that contradicts what I said earlier about expections but let me clarify, I generally have no expectations. except for the fact that I will probably never be attracted to anyone other than Shim Changmin.
See the problem here? I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.
And I think it's really sweet that my friends feed the deulsion that I may someday become 100000x better looking, 10000x smarter and marry Changmin(Rita Hayworth bleached her skin, electrocuted her hairline and married a Prince![who then turned completely psycho and her love life was extremely tragic but...moving on]) but I really can't tell you if you telling me that you feel "really sad that you'll never meet him cause you guys are practically soulmates" makes me feel better or a million times worse.
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