Dlophins, I am very disappointed in you ;_;

"UNSPEAKABLE ACTS

The following dolphin-perpetrated atrocities have been widely documented:

* gang rape of dolphin females
* prostitution of same
* porpoise holocausts
* adults grabbing adorable baby dolphins in their beaks and whacking them to death

SCIENTISTS ARE STUMPED

Species survival strategies (rivalry, runt removal, etc.) can validate infanticide. But scientists are stumped by the abundant porpoise slaughter and sexual violation fests that dolphins engage in, not to mention the apparent revelry they display in their appalling deeds. Even evolution can’t explain why male dolphins leap for joy after corralling terrified females for a spot of rape. Or why they laugh their dolphin laughs, high-fiving each other with their flippers. Or why dolphin penises stand erect after a murder most foul. Or maybe we made that up. We do not know for sure. We do know there is such a thing as evil, and dolphins, it appears, know it too.
-Amanda Gersh"


How will I ever love you again? ;_;