Blonde on Blonde

In all honesty there is absolutely no excuse for me to feel as completely exhausted as I am. Though it seems that I am doing all I can do maximize my time, it feels like I've hardly accomplished anything. 'Working hard or hardly working?', off topic but why is it that antanaclasis, puns and wordplay amuses me to the extent that it does. Hardly funny but still. I am still as susceptible to simplistic advertising schemes and campaign methods huh.
Everyone laughs at my schedule and how I insist on keeping to it, but right now I feel it's the only thing keeping me from whiling away my time and not doing nothing.(double negatives hah, see what I mean) But it worries me when I think that maybe, just maybe I'm only doing it to lull myself into a false comfort with the level or work I'm doing. Is it enough? I get people telling me they're not worried about how I'll do for my A's. I have enough discipline, Apparently(fallacious statement). I topped the class did I not, but thats only in comparison. I did Alright, comparatively. Blind panic sets in for a few seconds whenever I realize I'm not doing as well as I had originally planned, melt down and then realize how fucking stupid I look. Enough.

I'm really thankful for having WX in the hellhole with me, I think I would be much more miserable without her. There's a level of comfort or shall I say familiarity, tiny subtle differences I suppose, but it still means alot. Passing letters like old times, obsessive application of lip balm, reading teen vogue under the table, discreet eye-rolling, oh Nostalgia.

I need more study buddies(Greedy, much) and I never thought I'd say this but I think I miss Joan, no one tells her or else.