dismantle my brain
because i don't care enough. because i'm unhappy. scratch that - miserable. because i like getting letters in the mail. because i should be happy but i'm not letting myself be.content.not fucked up and fucked over. because being self-absorbed is a full time job. because i'm happier being sad than not. because i should pick up calls, let things happen and not pretend feelings don't exist.
Maybe i'm a lost cause. Just maybe I should try not to be. this isn't It. this is not a Feeling. because I can't seem to feel more than 49 seconds at a time. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe i'm right. There is no try, there is no You, there is no one that cares more than I do.
Last week I rejected 6 invitations out, holed myself up and watched Little Miss Sunshine on repeat 4 times because I'm a lewzer and I do things over and over again till I'm sick to death of it. And here I am wondering when I started spelling lewser with a Z. whether I should do my hair and go to bed or study, because 0.5 is never enough.
When did I start using actual numerical figures instead of typing the whole bloody thing out. When did I start forgetting things important to me. When did my fucking smiley go on backwards and why can't I remember the way it used to be. Why can't it be november with christmas right around the corner. because that always cheers me up. c.h.e.e.r.
I've never been this -.
I hope the phone stops fucking ringing soon or I'll lose my mind.
If I haven't done so already.
because I don't care if I'm not being fair. Your putting me on the spot.
Maybe i'm a lost cause. Just maybe I should try not to be. this isn't It. this is not a Feeling. because I can't seem to feel more than 49 seconds at a time. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe i'm right. There is no try, there is no You, there is no one that cares more than I do.
Last week I rejected 6 invitations out, holed myself up and watched Little Miss Sunshine on repeat 4 times because I'm a lewzer and I do things over and over again till I'm sick to death of it. And here I am wondering when I started spelling lewser with a Z. whether I should do my hair and go to bed or study, because 0.5 is never enough.
When did I start using actual numerical figures instead of typing the whole bloody thing out. When did I start forgetting things important to me. When did my fucking smiley go on backwards and why can't I remember the way it used to be. Why can't it be november with christmas right around the corner. because that always cheers me up. c.h.e.e.r.
I've never been this -.
I hope the phone stops fucking ringing soon or I'll lose my mind.
If I haven't done so already.
because I don't care if I'm not being fair. Your putting me on the spot.
3 Comments:
):
i love you, and how come i didn't realise you could add comments @#%(&@%&@#
OMG YOUR ONLINE. I AM TOO! But I'm not, but i am. I dont see you anywhere! If you read this come online.
Post a Comment
<< Home